That's the thing about the WOD

That's the thing about the WOD or running long slow distance. It's a mental and physical test. The mental means you have to be present in that moment, to keep your body moving forward, to complete the challenge. That's the thing. It's the reason I love it. I can't think of anything else but that motion or movement or whatever you are asking your body to do. Be present. Embrace the suck as they say. That suck is fleeting. An hour. 15 minutes. Three hours. Whatever it is, you know there is an end. So you focus on that end and get through it. 

It's a great way for me to have a moment of peace and clarity. But it's only a moment. When it's over, there is still reality and all the things you are trying to forget. Those things are still there. Waiting. Reality. It sucks sometimes. 

I want to live in the CrossFit moment. Just for a little while. Maybe a week. It would be a nice vacation. 

CrossFittin'

So, things have been a bit out of whack lately, to say the least. After a tumultuous month of July, I am still struggling to get back into the groove of things. Lack of sleep has kept me from the morning WODs. Stress and lack of sleep kept me from several days of WODS altogether. But, last week and this week I've made it to the evening Skilz class and one early morning WOD. (Thanks workout buddy!) I feel like I've fallen behind but I don't really care. I'm pretty glad just to make it to class.

Today we lifted. Front squats. 5 sets of 5 reps building to a heavy set of 5. The first three were paused, meaning slowly squat (a three count) then hold for a three count before standing. That's really hard. The last two were supposed to be heavy and at a normal pace. My heaviest set was 85lbs. It felt good to lift heavy things.

I've lost track of what my PRs are or what I was lifting at Roots before I came to Verve. That used to bother me a lot and I felt like I was going backward. But, it's a new gym, with new coaches, and also with different coaches every day. So, they notice different little things that I need to work on which keeps me lifting pretty light weight while I make those little corrections. Today I decided it didn't matter anymore what the weight was. It only matters that I show up. It doesn't matter if I do the Skilz class or the main WOD. It only matters that I show up.

I started at Verve in March or April. I think I'll feel comfortable setting goals for 2015. For now, I just need to continue to show up. And not stress about it.

Sigh. Sometimes it's just hard.

There's been a lot of emotional shit to deal with this year. Lots of changes, some of it good, like the new job. But my whole life seems to be out of whack at times. I feel very out of balance. Showing up is a good goal. That probably works for outside of CrossFit too. Show up and be present.

Indy Mini Marathon Race Report

Well hello!! It's been a while since I've blogged, eh?

This weekend I was in Indianapolis for the Indy Mini Marathon which is the largest half marathon in the country. 30,000 runners this time around. (28,935 per the official results page.)

When I registered for this one, my intention was to train in order to finish under 2 hours and 30 minutes. That's always been a goal of mine. (I came close in 2012 when I ran the New Orleans Rock and Roll half, finishing in 02:32:15. That was a fun race. I had family cheering for me along the route. The out and back part passed in front of my aunt's apartment. Very cool!) Soon after I registered, I started a new job and changed CrossFit gyms. It was just enough of an upheaval to throw off my training. Lots of that was my own lack of mental fortitude to get the miles in. No matter. I didn't get the miles in. In fact, my longest training run was only 6 miles and I didn't even run at all for about 3 weeks before the race. Crazy! I just knew I'd be hurting for the entire race. But, I also knew that I'd recover well. CrossFit has trained my body to recover from tough workouts. It has also trained me to suffer through tough workouts. This would be my 7th half marathon. I also knew exactly what I was in for with 6 races already completed.

My race plan was to start out slow and then ease up. No, really, that was my plan. Haha! Stop to enjoy it. Take lots of photos and just soak it all in.

Entering the Expo

Ready to go! New running kilt!

Waiting for the start

Approaching the start

This race was on my half marathon bucket list. Runners do a lap around the Indianapolis Motor Speedway!! My plan went back and forth about how much walking I'd do. Do I walk to the track so I have enough in the tank to run around it? Do I run to it and walk around it to have enough left to run to the finish? Walk a mile, run a mile? Walk 3, run 3, etc.? The biggest problem was that I had no idea how I was really going to feel once it started.

And then I remembered why I run half marathons. I really like them. :-)

The emotions of the event came forth when I arrived at the expo. Everyone is so friendly, wishing you good luck, asking where you are from, how many races you've done. Maybe this is the first time I really felt like one of them. I remember my first half in Las Vegas and being at the expo was so intimidating. This time, I felt more relaxed. It was just fun. No stress, no expectations. Just fun.

My hotel was very close to the start. I was able to sleep in and prep without worrying about getting lost or being late. Breakfast was a problem though. Since going mostly paleo with my diet, it's been more difficult to find food that I want to eat that won't upset my stomach. Eating those food items every now and then is ok but I didn't want to run on an upset stomach for 13 miles. I had a sort of plan but when the morning came, I had one of my leftover chicken peanut wrap things and some nuts and called it good. I also packed some Justin's nut butter packets to eat in place of the gels that they hand out.

I found my corral and settled in before deciding I should hit the port a potty. That didn't take very long, maybe 10 minutes but, by the time I got back to my corral it was so full people were queued up on the outside. Weird. I couldn't really tell if it was the right corral at that point but I queued up as well. Once the wave started moving it was fine and we all headed collectively to the start. I ate one of the nut butters as we walked to the start. I had my water bottles but hadn't filled them with water. I don't know why. :-/ I felt really unprepared. (By the way, I'd also hadn't run long enough to need food when I trained. So I had no idea if the nut butter was a good idea.)

Once the race started, I settled in at a 12:30 or so pace and it felt pretty good. There was music the entire race route. (The Rock and Roll series could really take lessons from the Mini.) It was great. All of these local musicians and dancers and DJs were cheering us on. Folks were sitting on their porches and hanging in their yards cheering us on. It was fantastic. I had a big smile on my face the whole time.

The pace felt comfortable so I decided to keep at it until I felt tired. The closer we got to the Speedway the more energy I seemed to gain. I love coming to this place. It is the embodiment of so many things I love - sport, history, tradition, competition, endurance. It also reminds me of New Orleans because of the family celebrations and traditions surrounding it for the locals. People hang signs on their houses welcoming race fans, letting them park in their yards, selling them waters. Just like Jazz Fest and Mardi Gras. I love it!

My brother and I have been to 5(?) Indy 500s. I am fairly familiar with the area. I knew how far away we were as we approached the Speedway. Here's some footage as we made the turn to the entrance. I was so excited!!

I couldn't believe I was actually doing this race and was about to run a lap at INDY! So awesome!

Just outside the Speedway

A friendly volunteer took this photo.

I still felt pretty strong at this point. But, I was about to hit a wall of sorts. As we started our lap, I slowed to take pictures and shoot some video. At turn 4, I started to walk and just soak it all in. My legs wouldn't run. I just wanted to soak it all in. It wasn't a physical wall but an emotional one.

Looking towards turn 3.

Entering turn 3 or is this approaching turn 4?

Exiting turn 4.

 

Selfie with the pagoda

Amazing to be here!

The pagoda

We've always sat between turns 4 and 1 for the 500. So, this bit of the track is familiar with lots of memories of the races we've attended. We witnessed the [edit: second] closest finish in Indy history. That was our first ever 500. (I really wanted Marco to win that one!) And this year, we aren't going to the 500. It will be the final race for Jim Nabors and I am quite sad to be missing it. Walking past the Pagoda was amazing. I wish we were going this year.

The bricks. I wasn't sure how to approach them. Lots of folks stop here to take selfies or have their friends take their picture kissing the bricks. Of course, I kissed them but I didn't get anyone to take my photo for me. There were official photographers set up there so I hope one of their photos comes out. I did take this one:

Selfie with the bricks!

I walked the rest of the track route, taking more pictures along the way and just soaking it all in.

Looking back, not wanting to leave just yet.

We left the track at just past the 8 mile mark. Less than 5 miles to go. I ate another nut butter, drank some water and gatorade (I filled my bottles at one of the aid stations) and took some deep breaths as I prepared to pick up the pace to the finish. Then, somewhere around mile 10 my knee and hip started hurting. I realized I was running to the left of the road which was crowned so I moved to the center, running on the double yellow. The pains went away. As long as I stayed in the center I felt fine. But, being a crowded race, there were lots of folks to dodge. I thought for sure I'd be closer to 14 miles with all the dodging I was doing.

I did have to stop to walk one more time in that last mile. It was the longest mile ever. It was a straight but I couldn't see the finish line for what felt like forever. When I finally saw it, I started to run again. Slow and steady. Just before the finish, there was a PA system playing Indy 500 finishes. As I approached they were playing the Marco Andretti and Sam Hornish finish, the [edit: second] closest in Indy history, the one we witnessed at our first Indy 500, the one my brother text to me for inspiration as I entered the Speedway. I love this place!

02:55:40 was my official time. Not anywhere close to my original goal. But, that goal was dropped well before I flew to Indy. The only goal I had was to have fun, take lots of photos, and finish. Mission accomplished! My Garmin tells me I had 10 full minutes of stoppage time. That included a potty break, photos on the way, slowing to text my brother and sister, stopping to fill my water bottles, and lots of time at the bricks. At the Speedway I had a 15 minute mile! It was great.

Thinking back on how I physically felt during the race, I could have easily run the whole thing at that 12+ minute mile pace and been comfortable. And if the attraction of the track wasn't so strong, there would have been less stopping. But, that's not what this race was about. It was the most fun I've had for sure. I smiled just about the whole way. I even shed a few tears after getting my medal. I feel very very fortunate and privileged to have my health when so many that I know and love do not. I feel very fortunate and privileged that I can make these trips, take time off from work to relax and celebrate all that is good in my life.

I can't wait to go back and do it again!

Best medal ever!!

Suck it up buttercup!

Wow, that was a lot of doom and gloom on that last post! I've realized a few things since then.

1.) I do NOT need to be doing this clean eating 30 day challenge. It's totally messing with my head and not accomplishing what I want to accomplish - gain lean weight. It's just pissing me off, making me tired, and stressing me out. I feel really drained. Some of that is (self imposed) stress but I think a lot of it is food.

2.) 5:30am is not so bad. It's actually pretty quiet and peaceful out at that time of the morning. I didn't even crash and burn later in the day like I thought I would. (I am quite tired today though.)

3.) CF LTP is a pretty cool box. But, yesterday I learned they don't have a lot of equipment. No 35lb bars only 45lb bars. Which, in the long run, is ok but in the meantime not so much. I cannot warm up with a 45lb bar. Ouch! My shoulder did not like that. I can do a workout with one but I really do need to warm up lighter.

4.) My LTP coach is great! He really pays attention to individual needs. He asked me throughout the WOD how my shoulder felt. I really appreciate that because sometimes I forget to pay close attention to it. Or I ignore it until someone makes me think about it. He also gave me some good advice about the food. Thanks coach!

5.) I need to keep my options open for the right place to workout. I've been very frustrated about that and impatient as well. I shouldn't settle for something that is convenient or good enough.

I already knew this one but I'll say it again. My Roots coach is the bomb! She is still offering me advice on this journey and I really appreciate that.

Stay strong and rock on people!! :-)

Good news/Bad news

I guess it's been a while since I've written. There have been some changes lately, big changes.

I started this post a while back and titled it "4 More Weeks"

2014 is starting off with a bang! I have accepted a new head librarian (and archivist) position thus putting an end to a year and a half of turmoil and uncertainty at my current job. Hooray! I have four more weeks before I begin the new job. That also means, much to my dismay, that I will no longer be able to visit CrossFit Roots for my workouts. I'll have to find a new gym. I am incredibly sad about this to say the least.

I have made incredible strides this past year at Roots. I have made great friends as well. I hate to give it up. But, I will take away everything I have learned and carry it forward with me to my new box. There will be high standards for this as yet to be determined new CrossFit box to meet. When I started at Roots I was an unfit slacker suffering from guilt about not working out. I was also in quite a funk about my job situation. When I begin at a new place, it will be as a fit paleo athlete with nothing but high hopes for the new job opportunity! What a turn around. Roots and Coach Ali have played a huge part in that. I can't thank them enough.

So, with four weeks left at Roots, I will continue to rehab my shoulder. And make sure I am once again on the path to success and multiple pull-ups strung together. I do <3 pull-ups!

I have a fabulous new job!! And with the new job, that shooting pain I had from my shoulder up behind my ear, that pain went away. So did the large knot I had in the back of my neck. Funny, that.

That was the good news. The bad news is I can no longer make it to my happy place, CrossFit Roots. And I have yet to find a replacement. I had been quite optimistic but now I'm starting to feel very unhappy about that. It seems I can't have both at the same time, mental health and physical health. It's one or the other. Love the new job. I'm sure gonna miss my strength. I worked hard on that. 

Shoulder Update

I did manage to make it worse before it got better. And that prompted me to make two appointments. I'll be going to ortho at Kaiser to get some pictures of it on Wednesday. Last Thursday I went to my PT guy. He's prescribed 10 days of rest, meaning no above the shoulder movements. I can still do other things but nothing overhead. I can live with that. And I needed him to tell me to stay off of it. He's also given me three specific exercises to do. I'm trying very hard to do them all consistently. I need to make sure I do my best to make way for a stronger better me. So many improvements this past year. I'm quite bummed about this set back. Quite bummed indeed.

I need to stop focusing on all the things I'm missing out on doing and focus on all the things I can still do. And then make sure I do them well. So, I won't write about how I had to modify the WOD that had weighted pull-ups and toes on a box push-ups. Instead, I'll write about how I was able today to get 75 double unders in two minutes. (I'd missed that one too but did it on my own instead.) Weighted squats are really kick ass, by the way.

Today I ran 3 miles. The half marathon training officially began last weekend but I missed the run because of my shoulder. I walked on the treadmill instead. It was good to be out again this morning.

Shoulder Pains/Shoulder Pangs

In all of my athletic career I have never been injured. I've had my share of scrapes and bruises and such but never an injury where I've had to sit out for any extended period of time. I've been really lucky in that regard. Maybe it's because I have almost always been one of the smallest, if not the smallest, people on my teams. I've always been fairly quick and I used to be pretty fast. Those facts helped me stay out of difficult and potentially hazardous situations. But now, I am a CrossFitter. And I'm 45 years old. There's no avoiding anything. CrossFit is an individual effort sport. It's you against you.

I started CrossFit about a year ago. I came into it a bit broken or at least out very of shape. I hadn't done much of anything aside from running (mainly in a straight line for a longish distance) and sitting at my desk. That means my arms rarely moved away from my midline and certainly never overhead. And I was not even thinking about doing any weight training. As a result, I developed a lack of mobility and strength in my shoulders. And quite honestly, it was never that great to begin with.

As I've progressed over the past year, I've gained a lot of mobility, not just in my shoulders but everywhere. I've also gained a lot of strength. With that has come some pain I've learned new lifts and pushed through some WODs. A lot of the pain is simply soreness that comes with progress. I've done some stretching, some PT treatments, some dry needling, and some massage. I should have probably done more of all of that. There's always more that could be done.

After some months of great gains - lots of PRs - my right shoulder began to have some pain. My rule of thumb had been if I had uneven pain, I would address it. Uneven pain being an indicator that it would be something more than general WOD soreness. I followed through a couple of times with my PT and had good results. This past week I have continued having this pain in my right shoulder. And that makes me worried.

It really really sucks to have made so much progress and then have this set back. I've not had to deal with this before and it's making me sad. But, I am trying to stay focused on all the positives. For example, it will be much easier to recover from this set back because I am in such good shape right now. It's easier to manage one armed because I am so much stronger than a year ago. I have lots of great resources to help me get through it. And I have a coach that is going to help me stay in shape while I recover. And, I have a really great excuse to get another massage.

So, here I go, on a new stage of rest and recovery. Wish me luck!

Things that are better...

A friend asked how I am feeling now that I've been eating better and losing weight. How has it affected my workouts? The question made me think about how I have been approaching all of this fitness stuff. One thing I've decided, in addition to eating right, is to have a more positive outlook on the workouts.

As I've gotten stronger, my tendency has been to focus more on the things that are still difficult, things I need to work on. I've decided to change that around and look at all the progress I've made and to approach the still difficult tasks in a more positive manner. I'm taking this cue from my granddaughter. Lately, when we want her to do something that we think she doesn't want to do, we append it with some enthusiasm. For example, when it's time to get ready for bed her mom says let's get in pajamas. Then one of us will say, "Pajamas! Yay!!!" with some clapping. It doesn't always work but sometimes it does. So, instead of saying, "Ugh, burpees." when I see them in the workout, I'll instead say, to myself, "Burpees! Yay!!!" Even if I struggle through them, at least it reminds me of my granddaughter and that always makes me smile.

Here are some things that are better since the food challenge.
1. Saying no to chocolate and other sweets is a little easier. Or maybe stopping after a small piece is easier. I don't have to eat an entire Chocolove bar in one sitting. One small square usually satisfies.
2. Body weight exercises are easier when you have less body weight and are stronger. Duh! I can now do a strict pullup. Getting up and down for a burpee is easier as well. As are pushups.
3. Reading food labels. It's necessary. Know what the ingredients are and know what the sugar content is. Doesn't mean you won't eat it but at least you know.
4. Running. I'm already faster! I PR'd on my first 5K of the year! In cold and snowy conditions. Crazy!

Resolute Runner - 5K PR!

5. My ability to concentrate at work has improved. I sit up straighter at my desk too.
6. My boobs are smaller! What?! Thank you paleo diet!!
7. My shirts fit better. That's a combination of the boobs and my waist being smaller.
8. I think my hair is growing faster.  Maybe I'll try growing it out again.
9. I spend less money on beer. (That's good, right?)
10. Food tastes better.

I hope to always remember that this is a luxury that lots and lots of folks don't have. I have enough income and time to spend this time doing CrossFit and buying whole food. It's a privilege not many have. The same is true for my good health. I hope I never lose sight of that.

My goal for the food challenge was to lose 9 lbs of body fat in an effort to reach a healthier body fat percentage. This morning, when I got on the scale, I've lost an additional 7 lbs beyond that goal. Wow!

New Year

Goals? Our CrossFit coach has asked us to give her some goals for the year so she can help guide us during our workouts. She suggested a 3 month, 6 month, and 12+ month set of goals. I've asked her to review mine so right now these are unofficial:

3 months: Mobility 3x per week, Rope climb
6 months: Mobility 5x a week, Toes to bar
12 months: Chest to bar, Pistol squats

For running, my one goal is to run a half marathon in 2:30 or less. My next half will be the Indy Mini Marathon on May 3rd.

Be more mobile, run faster, and have fun doing it. That's the plan. :-)

Happy New Year!