2014 becomes 2015

Many plans and goals went unfulfilled this year due to many challenging events. Getting through this year was exhausting, emotionally and physically. And, I'm certain we are not through it all simply because I've hung a new calendar on the fridge. No. Life doesn't really work that way. But, it does carry on, which is what we shall try to do, as best we can. Life changing events make you into a new person. Not necessarily better or worse, just different. It's best to accept that truth and move on. You can't go back. You can't change the past, no matter how much you want to beg for it or cry about it. You can and should cry as much as you want. That's ok. But, here we remain, in the present, and in a way, less than we were before. We will always miss the ones we love.

I joined CrossFit Verve in March 2014. I didn't bring any goals or expectations with me at first. I was learning about my new job at the Denver Botanic Gardens and that seemed like enough to worry about at the time. I'd made some goals at my old box, CrossFit Roots. Those were in the back of my mind but I wasn't too worried about them. I just wanted to start a new routine and try to be consistent. Early morning WODs were something I never thought I would be able to do. I'm not a morning person at all. But, eventually, it felt comfortable and more doable. It did take a while to get there though.

And then the world as we knew it began to change. My sister-in-law's husband, Dave, was diagnosed with leukemia. He needed to come to Denver for treatment so, without hesitation, they moved in with us. At about the same time, my dad was fighting lung cancer in Houston. The roller coaster that we couldn't get off began. Lots of ups and downs, good news, bad news, no news, highs and lows, came at us every day. Road trips that we didn't want to make were made. Conversations we didn't want to have were had.

My dad died on July 15th, five and a half months ago. Dave died on December 19th, two weeks ago.

It is a crushing unbelievable sadness.

I have no words of encouragement or motivational quips about cancer or loss. None of that matters. Right now we just try to endure. I am very fortunate to have positive healthy family and in-law relationships. We lean on each other. We hold each other up. We try to always have kleenex handy. We hug or not as needed. We go on.

One bright spot has been my new job. I could be at work and have some sort of control over the tasks I had to do and be successful. I could ask questions and get answers. I could set tasks and enact change. Even when small disasters struck (water leak in the serials storage room), I could manage the clean up and lead a team successfully. It was a much needed sense of security, something I had very little of at my last job. I will be forever grateful that I was head librarian at the botanic gardens at this time in my life.

It's been difficult to try to think of new resolutions for crossfit and running. I somehow managed to achieve one of the goals I'd set for myself before leaving Roots. I managed to make it to the top of the rope and back down again. That was pretty cool. I also ran a bucket list half marathon, the Indy Mini. That was very cool. And me and my sister ran the Rock and Roll Denver Half Marathon Relay as well. My 2:30 half marathon time goal is still out there. And improving my mobility for crossfit is also still out there. I don't think I'll dwell on either just yet. I think I'll just try to enjoy my fitness day-to-day and see what happens.

Or maybe I'll shoot for a sub 30 minute 5K this year.... :-)

And now, some photos of my feet. :-)

Work

CrossFit

Running

Happy New Year!