That's the thing about the WOD

That's the thing about the WOD or running long slow distance. It's a mental and physical test. The mental means you have to be present in that moment, to keep your body moving forward, to complete the challenge. That's the thing. It's the reason I love it. I can't think of anything else but that motion or movement or whatever you are asking your body to do. Be present. Embrace the suck as they say. That suck is fleeting. An hour. 15 minutes. Three hours. Whatever it is, you know there is an end. So you focus on that end and get through it. 

It's a great way for me to have a moment of peace and clarity. But it's only a moment. When it's over, there is still reality and all the things you are trying to forget. Those things are still there. Waiting. Reality. It sucks sometimes. 

I want to live in the CrossFit moment. Just for a little while. Maybe a week. It would be a nice vacation. 

CrossFittin'

So, things have been a bit out of whack lately, to say the least. After a tumultuous month of July, I am still struggling to get back into the groove of things. Lack of sleep has kept me from the morning WODs. Stress and lack of sleep kept me from several days of WODS altogether. But, last week and this week I've made it to the evening Skilz class and one early morning WOD. (Thanks workout buddy!) I feel like I've fallen behind but I don't really care. I'm pretty glad just to make it to class.

Today we lifted. Front squats. 5 sets of 5 reps building to a heavy set of 5. The first three were paused, meaning slowly squat (a three count) then hold for a three count before standing. That's really hard. The last two were supposed to be heavy and at a normal pace. My heaviest set was 85lbs. It felt good to lift heavy things.

I've lost track of what my PRs are or what I was lifting at Roots before I came to Verve. That used to bother me a lot and I felt like I was going backward. But, it's a new gym, with new coaches, and also with different coaches every day. So, they notice different little things that I need to work on which keeps me lifting pretty light weight while I make those little corrections. Today I decided it didn't matter anymore what the weight was. It only matters that I show up. It doesn't matter if I do the Skilz class or the main WOD. It only matters that I show up.

I started at Verve in March or April. I think I'll feel comfortable setting goals for 2015. For now, I just need to continue to show up. And not stress about it.

Sigh. Sometimes it's just hard.

There's been a lot of emotional shit to deal with this year. Lots of changes, some of it good, like the new job. But my whole life seems to be out of whack at times. I feel very out of balance. Showing up is a good goal. That probably works for outside of CrossFit too. Show up and be present.